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Why would so many of my best childhood friends (all white) seem to have no issue finding boyfriends?

I thought I was ugly.



The evidence of my ugliness was that all that boys I liked, never liked me in return.


Growing up in a predominantly white community, the boys I had crushes on were almost exclusively white with blonde hair and blue eyes. However, whenever I shot my little shot, it was a brick at best.


I didn’t go to prom because no one asked me. Because I am ugly, of course.


Whether it was how my white love interests felt or not, started to associate my ugliness with my blackness.

I mean why else would so many of my best childhood friends (all white) seem to have little to no issue finding boyfriends or prom dates at school? Why was I always just a friend and nothing more? Why would boys tell me I looked pretty only when I straightened my hair?

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