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Can you teach me how to be a black person?


I’ve honestly wanted to meet my birth father since I was a little girl. I wasn’t all that interested in meeting my birth mother. Not due to anything I had against her—I just wanted someone to teach me how to be a black person. I always felt I was navigating everything alone. Experiences of racism, prejudice, stereotype threat, micro-aggressions—by myself.


I always felt like a little black girl, but as I grew, and as it was often questioned, I began to feel less and less legitimate.


The thing is racism forces you to pick sides. Yes, I’m biracial—born to a white mother and black father, but the world made it extremely clear that I could never be white; no matter how much of who I was existed within white spaces.


Nevertheless, even though I felt I had chosen my “black side, in adolescence especially, I felt my black identity was somehow a counterfeit. Especially because black parents did not raise me.


A part of me thought that by meeting and knowing them, my black card could never be revoked. They would solidify my membership within the black community. They would teach me how to belong. 🖤



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